Friday, June 23, 2006

Address change?

Just wanted to let you know that I’m expecting a phone call any minute from the Navy Seals, the Army Green Beret’s or possibly even the Japanese Ninja’s. Whichever one of them calls first I’m sure will be requesting my assistance immediately, so my address could be changing very soon.

Why, you ask, would I be changing my address to correspond with any one of the above-mentioned elite forces? Well, besides the obvious, (tough, muscled, sexy, smart, and savvy men in uniforms thing)(sigh) I have just realized that these forces really don’t know what tough is all about. As soon as they get the news that I KNOW TOUGH, they will be begging me to train each and every one of said, tough, muscled, sexy, smart and savvy men in uniforms.

Here’s the scoop… I went to the Dentist on Wednesday morning to have a cavity filled. As I sat my trembling body down in the chair, I wondered just what tortures I would have to endure. The dental assistant came bopping in with a cheery GOOD MORNING, I answered with a squeaky (“oh please don’t hurt me”) Good Morning. And then the doctor came in, complete with mask and popping her gloves as she put them on. She said, “so how are we today?” I said (“we are nervous as hell”) “Fine thank you”. Doc said, “soooo, this doesn’t look too bad, it’s just a little cavity”.

And that’s when I opened my mouth and showed a strength and courage that only an elite few could hope to attain. It went something like this:

Me: so, does that mean that we can take care of this cavity without any shots?
Doc (with a sarcastic chuckle): Sure, no problem.
Me: Good!
Doc (with a confused look): Are you serious?
Me (a little hesitantly): Um, yeah, if you think it would be OK?
Doc: Ooh-K, I’ll just go really slowly. Now you be sure and let me know if you begin to feel any pain or discomfort
Me (to myself): Oh don’t you worry your pretty little head about that one
Me (to Doc with a tough attitude): OK, sure.

So I opened my mouth and she went to work drilling, eeeeeeun-eeeeeeun-eeeeeeeun and some little jackhammer type instrument, dutdutdutdut---dutdutdutdutdut, She’d stop every few seconds and give me that quizzical look, I’d nod my head and she’d go back to work. Eeeeeun-eeeeeeun-eeeeeun, duttduttduttdutt… By this time I knew that at any second she was expecting to hit the nerve that would sit me straight up and blow the top of my head off, and I was getting scared, but I was in it now, and I was acting tough, and surely, surely it would be over soon… surely!!

Finally, it was over!! She sat me up, looked at me and grinned and said, “ all done! Man, you’re one tough cookie!!” I simply shrugged my shoulders as if to say, yeah, no biggie, told her Thanks, and walked out with a swagger, hoping they couldn’t see the nervous trickle of sweat running down my back !!

So now, I’m officially the toughest girl in the world. And the phone should be ringing any minute now, so I’ve gotta go!! Can't wait to teach some "tough" to those tough, muscled, sexy, smart and savvy men in uniforms who need me!! (sigh)

5 comments:

Jacqueline said...

um...why didn't you want the shot? You are either braver than I or crazy as a loon.

SheBear said...

Daaaayum, girl! I birthed 3 babies--two of them 9#ers--without drugs, and even I wouldn't dream of facing the dentist without a significant level of opiates in my bloodstream!!

I'm impressed. AND I think you're crazy. Not in a harmless baglady/loon way. In a scary way. Scary-crazy.

Susan said...

Can't say it any better... you rock!

Lenka said...

.... AND THAT'S WHY I'M THE BIG SISTER and THE BOSS of YOU GUYS!!!

Jacqueline said...

NUH-UH! you're not the boss of me!! MO-OM!!!!

(hey, someone had to say it.)