Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Elbow deep in Avacado & the key won't open the door!!

In other words: Lot's of Guac but no Unlock!!!
(Sorry about the phone calls that got missed on Saturday!!)

I had one of those days. Nothing seemed to work correctly. When I realized, AFTER we were in public that the socks were on inside out, well one of them anyway, I knew it was just going to be ONE OF THOSE DAYS. Nothing major, just little crap that seems to rise up and laugh in my face. I won't go into the little details, but it really started going bad when we were ready to leave to go listen to a friend play at the coffee shop. I've been wanting hear her forever, but as we were leaving, We decided to see if the new key that we had cut would work in the Front door. Did it? Nuh-uh, nope, of course not. In fact, the Deadbolt lock on the front door decided to break rather than accept the new key. Who EVER heard of a Deadbolt breaking? Well it did and do you know what's inside a deadbolt lock? SPRINGS and PINS. LOTS AND LOTS of itsy bitsy teeney weeney springs and pins. So when it comes apart, they basically explode everywhere. This is where they got the concept for hand grenades.

Anyway, that meant that we couldn't possible leave the house for very long because we couldn't lock it securly against the evil elements. We left it long enough to go to Home Depot to buy another Dead Bolt. Hoping that we'd still have time to get to the concert. (It was a very informal affair so late wouldn't matter so much.) Great idea, but no dice. The guy at Home Depot had to call everyone else in the store so that they could put their heads together and decided just how to go about re-keying a deadbolt to fit our current keys. They finally came up with a solution, and we headed back home.

This lock was a "Quick Set" brand lock. Which would lead one to believe that it would be "quickly set" into the door, right? Well... NO. So we didn't get to go to the concert.

By this time we were both hungry, so while the Counselor worked on the lock, Amid expletive ambiance, I decided to make us a sandwich. Turkey, Fresh tomato, avacado and a little mayo, with chips and a coke. How hard is that? Well let me tell you how hard that is...

1. peel the tomato - DONE
2. spread mayo on bread - DONE
3. fit round slices of Turkey on square bread - .... done?
4. cut avacado in half - DONE
5. CHASE THE STUPID AVACADO SEED around the kitchen floor for 5 minutes. - DONE
6. place avacado and tomato slices on turkey - DONE
7. Put top slice of bread on sandwich - DONE
8. Pick up Sandwich to place it on plate with Chips - ... crap!!!
9. pick up slippery slices of avacado & tomato that slid out of sandwich & fell on floor - (!*&^%) - done
10. realize that nothing's going to stay together without toothpicks or hot glue. - dang
11. have bright idea - DONE
12. Mash the stupid avacado into a paste with a little more mayo.

This is the moment in time when my phone started ringing incessantly. One call after another, but since my hands are covered in tomato and avacado guts, I can't do anything about it. So as the individual ring tones played, I knew EXACTLY whose call I was missing, and I just sobbed into my make shift quacamole.

After pulling myself together, and creating a wonderful "Turkey, tomatoe, & avacado sandwich" casserole, the Counselor comes in and annouces, "whew, got it!! I think it's going to work. Let's try the new key now." So we did!! And... It didn't work!!!

Yep, Lot's of Guac but no UN-lock!! Not a great place to be!!!

1 comment:

Susan said...

Well, it still sounds yummy! The only thing to do with frustration like that...

wait for it...

"guac" it off!

Ahhhhhh, I slay me. (Another beautiful thing about blogging? You don't have to fake laugh, even for family!!!)